so take heed, take heed of the western wind

We were supposed to get some incredible snow lately. Although I am a little disappointed it never showed up, it was kind of exciting to prepare for it. Eric and I stayed bundled with our Jules and did a lot of school work with coffee and homemade soup. We did have some crazy winds blow through- I remember one morning, we just laid in bed watching the tree outside our window get whipped around. It was kind of scary. Jules was not interested in going outside, and Girl was snuggled deep inside her box on the porch.

The clouds that the wind carried to us were incredible- so dark and ominous. With them, they brought all sorts of hail and different forms of snow in just the right amount. The sun popped out often too, and made for some really strange lighting. At one point, we were basking in the golden rays looking up to our neighbor's house, watching the hail fall over them that had just left us. Wacky! The whole day was pretty surreal.

Anyway, just wanted to share some photos I was able to snap of the stormy days. They look better if you click on them and view them at a larger size. That's my one complaint about this layout- might have to switch it up for better photo display...

epic dust

Epic Dust: An Extravaganza of Infamy  made its world premiere last night at Cosmic!

Here is a teaser video of Episode 2: Riderless just to give you an idea of how incredible these films are.

Oh man. It was an amazing night! There were so many different folks from the community that came out to show their support, and get a glimpse of what kind of wonderful artists we have here in Placerville.
Like an idiot, I forgot the camera, AGAIN.  But I assure you, all my favorite guys and gals were dressed up in their old west attire, and they looked great!

The night started off with some live theatre.  While we were sitting and waiting for the show to start, we saw a pair of boots  against a wall behind the screen. Eric said "I wonder if that's Jamie back there."  So we watched the boots for a few minutes at a time and found that they didn't move at all. Just sat on the stage; two stationary and broken-in black leather cowboy boots. We finally agreed that they were probably just a prop to be used later in the night. My friend Jen and I were still wondering where Jamie was. He was to be the main act! Her boyfriend (and local theatre teacher) Paul Tomei said "Jamie is dedicated. I bet you that IS him back there."
Darin got on stage and announced the nights agenda before introducing 'Texas Jack' to give a cowboy prayer. As you may have guessed, out from behind the screen, in those NEVER MOVING boots came Jamie Van Camp! He was incredible and super hilarious. I was in tears from laughing so hard during most of his act.

 After some comedy to set the old west vibe fore the night, the films were shown, and lord were they amazing! People behind us kept commenting on the 'nice shot's that Cinema Caldera captured. The scenery and stories they portrayed just kind of blew my mind. The white sands and the perfect little cabin with the wash basin that was set up just like the old west? My God! Both part one and two sucked the audience in- there was even a group groan at the "To be Concluded".
It was simply an amazing night of beautiful art made by very dedicated and talented people and I simply can not wait for the next ones to be shown! I'm so stoked on the local talent here. Placerville is such a hidden treasure. We have art, wine and the most incredible folks that hardly anyone knows about. Lucky us!
Along those same lines, I feel like I need to plug another great artist in our little town: my boyfriend Eric Howard for the fanstastic Epic Dust website he created. It so perfectly fits with the vibe I got from the films. He is amazing- I basically got to sit home yesterday and watch him design and build it. Its so radical to see an artist create something in front of your very eyes.

I am running late for work now- wish I had a few more moments to write a little more in depth. But I will leave with this reminder to my self: Stick with three beers. Three. Four is ALWAYS one too many.

valentine's eve (through photos)

My niece came over the other day so my mom could pick my dad up from the hospital. 

(He is doing much better by the way. The difference in his operated knee vs. the other one is amazing! he gained an inch on that leg, and its so straight! He is recovering better than they expected as well!)

Anyway, to kind of entertain my niece and also prepare for the annual Valentines party at Zack and Rebecca's, we decided to bake some heart shaped cookies and decorate them! (I wish I would have grabbed the camera to take photos of the process and my sweet niece! I'll get better at remembering the camera someday...)

They ended up being pretty cute- but it took HOURS.  Eric also insisted on baking one elephant cookie.

(I couldn't resist getting the elephant cookie-cutter I found at hospice the other day.)

So, he baked and decorated one.

 It was really hard for anyone to eat it because it was so cute....but I think it did eventually happen!

We kind of celebrated most of V-Day last night, since we knew we were busy with school stuff Monday.

While I was at work, Eric cleaned the whole house and started dinner. 

I stopped on the way home to get him something he has been wanting since before Christmas:

 A schwanky new knife! Super sharp. (You never appreciate sharp kitchen utensils until you go without!)

Anyway, he is stoked on it. He tested it out on a bunch of stuff before he would let me take photos of it.

Afterward, we got to finish cooking dinner together as a little family. Even Jules hung out.

A moth had gotten inside when I came in from work. Jules was right on it!

Well, sorta. He mostly just meowed at it, and lost track of it easily.

But he is getting to be such a big handsome cat- and I kind of love that he is a dopey hunter.

The moth was able to escape Jules and land on this tapestry, making a beautiful live art piece that was almost mimicking Jules' poor hunting sense.

 After the silly cat antics were up, and the lasagna cooled, we ate our yummy dinner with our 1999 Boeger Walker Zinfandel and cuddled on the couch. I love when we are able to set aside nights to just ignore deadlines and phone calls and just hang out together and enjoy each others company. I love my dude.

Especially because he gave me hydrangeas this morning. He knows how to make this plant-obsessed girl happy!

Can't wait to catch a break from school and work so we can go on an adventure together soon! We had such a great time in Tulum last summer... We're hoping to go to Japan soon. Maybe for the cherry blossom festival next year?

Anywho, hope all you friends and lovers have had a wonderful time celebrating your loved ones, whether you like/ believe in Valentine's Day or not!

TGIF (almost)

My Dad is doing ok. Last night, they had to put him on oxygen. The pain was real bad- he didnt get any relief or sleep. I dont think any of us rested well knowing he was in so much pain. Hes a pretty unwell individual over all. Hopefully new knees will give him a little more joy out of life [he always mentions wanting to be able to play basketball again. Hike down a hill again to fish in the good holes,etc].Poor pops. He might be able to come home tomorrow. My niece is going to come over and hang out while my mom tends to my dad. Im pretty stoked- shes an awesome and very crafty kid.

I had school all day, and so I'm exhausted. I am up late putting the finishing touches on my part of the newest group lab report. Its about the tonicity of cells. I love it. Everytime I'm about to give up on biology, it goes pulling me back in again. I didnt think I would care about osmosis and diffusion, but once I got a grasp on it and saw it applied...I dont know. I dont want to get too stoked because its a lot of work, and Im sure Ill be stressing, whinning and complaining again soon enough. I leave you now with one of the images I made tonight to refer to in my results section. Its the cells of Elodea in water and then in a salt water solution. The first one is a happy plant. The second one....not so much. Its one of the first things I made completely with photoshop! Good thing I date a cyborg. He helped me a lot.

dear old dad

My dad is having his knee replaced today.
An empty stomach, other than his many pills he is required to be on.
My poor, poor father.
He is a very sick, weak man. I am so worried.
They decided it would be best for him, if they gave him a spinal tap to dull the pain.
My mother is waiting there, at the hospital for the 5 hours they expect to work on him.
She is a very devoted and loving woman. He is so blessed.
She brought with her, my recently deceased grandmother's bible, and her locket, which contains a clock.
A clock, that hardly ever works unless there are times that she, my father's mother, needs to be present.
My own mother set the time as my father was put under. 3:10pm.
She checked the time again at what should have read 3:33, but instead, it read 6:25.
What does it mean? My folks would say that it was my grandmother's presence.
My mother, telling me to dry the tears that I haven't consider spilling, now has my stomach in knots.

I think I just lost my mind, and gained an ulcer.

School is way too hard this semester. Its almost unreal.
Oh, and I miss my best friend.

Sorry about all the whining.

high school days

down with the sickness

   Not much to report from the home front today this photo is pretty much me all day.Woke up feeling real sick. There is a bug going around work, and I think I finally got it. Today was supposed to be my day to get that lab report written, and get caught up in my math class. I just created this little nest in the corner, with green tea and tissues and books on books on books.
   I started in on writing introduction to the lab report on "Hydrolysis of Macromolecules", but that frame a mind is too hard today- its too deep in there, and I am way too groggy and loopy to be writing. I'm taking a break with Pre-Calculus for now(which sounds hilarious, but its so easy compared to some of the stuff in Biology).
   I'm quite the mess today. Still haven't gotten out of my pajamas, my poison oak on my face is spreading, I'm all sniffles and whines.Poor Eric. He made me green tea this morning, and ramen with green onions and a sourdough grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Super patient, lovable dude. I'm a lucky gal.

Here is too a speedy recovery so I don't get too much further behind in school!

jar terrariums!

   I couldn't stand it. The weather was too beautiful today. I know I am supposed to be swamped with school work, and stressing about getting it done in time, and with my standards. I know I should have vacuumed or scrubbed the toilet or made the bed...but I just couldn't think about it today. I was too excited by the sunshine on my day off!

   Yesterday, Eric and I picked up some potting soil as part of our errands so I could give all the house plants a little pick-me-up. I bought a couple of cute coleus and some sort of leather grass while at Raley's [they were two bucks and really needed some TLC]. We made our last stop the huge Snowline Hospice to look for some interesting jars to try to make some terrariums since I have been obsessing [I blogged about some here]. I ended up with four different shapes to play with, half with lids (for the mosses) and half that are just open (for plants that don't like it so moist).

So- we started the morning by checking out a house for sale that ended up being a disappointment. Afterward, we stopped by Stan's and got some bread baking tips [which is Eric's equivalent to my terrarium fascination]. When we got back home, I changed into my gardening clothes, and re-potted all of my poor indoor plants. They seemed pretty happy to be outdoors and pretend to be wild plants, but....Ive seen how they cope with real sunlight. No bueno.

Since I was already dirty, I decided it would be a good time to play with the new jars and see if I could make a couple of terrariums. Eric and I walked around the property to find some plants that might like a controlled environment in our house, in a jar, on our shelf away from the winter.

     I ended up with these two-I'm not real stoked on how the larger one with the wood lid turned out, but Ill see how it goes. At least its getting that healthy condensation, as you can see in the photos. I hope it just goes nuts in there and takes over!  I'm also trying to root this really neat flowering vine for a taller glass container we picked up. Maybe I could get it to grow up a stake in the jar like a tiny wisteria?
We managed to come across some really pretty tiny clover-esque moss, so we started with that. There is also some kind of shale rock formation near our home too- lots of cool stones!  Still keeping my eye out for little figurines to place in there [love the sheep on my previous terrarium post!]. For now, I just put in some mushrooms Eric and I made in a ceramics class a couple of years ago. Overall,  I am happy with my products, and wanting to bring some of my creative lady friends over to get their hands dirty in this unseasonable sunshine, and see what they come up with for their terrariums.


[Furthermore, I'm excited that Punxsutawney Phil predicted a short winter today, despite his record... I'm ready for springtime, so I'm a believer!]

finding the light

 So much sadness, lately. Between my friend Emily's tragic pup story [Heather wrote about it here] and that tragic story about Juliani Cardenas and then finally, this afternoon's trek down the hill, which is mostly the topic of my entry today. I'm going to try to combat the bad energy creeping into my life by staying positive and seeking out bright side/ do good deeds/create beauty and lightness and dream, dream, dream.

Pessimism
My day started with an intense Biology class. During the lab component, I discovered some of our results were wrong. I pointed them out, much to the annoyance of my group members, and suggested we repeat the procedures. As one member and I started over, the other two sat and watched, obviously irritated and bored to tears, waiting for us to remedy our fuck up so they could go text their bffs. The results were less wrong the second time, but still not what they were supposed to be. As a sort of perfectionist, it KILLED me to not have the right results. It also just so happens to be the lab that the professor assigned our first 10-18 page "Lab Report" written as a GROUP, and it's due next week (Ughhhhhh). I wish I knew how to write one? Wasn't expecting that work load on top of my other stuff I'm drowning in. Cant wait to use any spare moments I have outside work, school and studying to meet up with these broads and work on a project. Joy!

I drove home after class, and spent the next few hours before going to Pre-Calculus trying to figure out which species of bacteria we observed hydrolyzed gelatin, and how it is able to, and how the fact that it can relates to its habitat and how the ability to hydrolyze proteins enable some bacteria to enter the body of an organism, and why a polysaccharides in a solution with HCl and boiled had a reaction, but the polysaccharide solution with HCl at room temperature didn't? Real relaxing break.

After making a quick [burnt] quesadilla and saying goodbye to my two tenders (Eric and Jules), I dragged my feet to the car to drive to Folsom to go to a class that actually makes me feel worse-off to attend. It is the one with the worst teacher I have ever had. [A sweet person, but really not cut out for teaching. Read her reviews here.] Shes very, very confusing- even to herself!

Reluctantly, I climbed behind the wheel and discovered  a huge, slow black fly hovering around. Slow flies are somehow more gross than quicker ones. I continued up and over the moguls that is our driveway. I got on the main road and adjusted the windows as the fly buzzed around, hoping to create a vacuum for it to get sucked back into the wild. I had no luck. [I think it might still be in my car?]

After a bit, I finally got to the freeway on ramp, and noticed 3 or 4 cars backing up the on ramp. Weird! I looked down the freeway and saw traffic forever, and on the horizon, flashing fire engine lights. Late for class? Today? Of course! I cruised down the on ramp, and came to where the flares were aligned so the freeway would (hopefully) merge into one lane. It was almost a standstill, and no one wanted to let anyone in. Assholes. I managed to squeeze myself between two giant SUVs and waited to move the next few inches. Slowly we crept. As more safety vehicles whizzed down the center divide, I eventually got  to the reason for the buildup.

 I first saw the sullen, and baby-faced firefighter. A younger guy with total disappointment on his face.  He hardly lifted his head as he took off his helmet, and motioned it up and down, a silent request for drivers to slow, and take caution when passing by.  More firefighters were crossing the road. None of them were moving quickly- I thought maybe the accident wasn't so bad?  I saw a fireman crouched with his arm around the back of a stretcher- I think there was a person but I wouldn't look at him/her- I just watched the fireman's face as he yelled back for Keller, another firefighter I presume. As traffic crawled further past the firetruck, I finally saw the remains of a silver sedan.
 
The front in was completely obliterated. Like a crunched up, thin piece of paper all the way to the drivers seat. My hair on my arms to my neck stood up, and my breathing ceased. I think I actually held my breath until about a minute past all of it.Instantly, I was flooded with images of my mind of what a body would like like after being in that wreck. I dont know why- I could only imagine the most mangled forms. The blood lost, the body parts that might have been strewn. Could someone survive that? I'm assuming the slow-movement of the personnel meant there wasn't anything to hurry for- a life was lost. Maybe, and hopefully I'm wrong. But I just cant imagine someone living through the tiny space that was left after the headlights met the steering wheel.

My mind raced more-was there anyone else in the car? Were there kids? Did this person, (or these people) have family? And if so, did they already know what had happened? Were they there with the victim, and were they holding their breath too, looking away from it all? Or maybe they were on their way, or worse, maybe they didn't know anything was wrong at all. Maybe they were mad that their spouse was late for dinner. Was there another car involved,  with another horrified family that was looking on that I somehow missed? Traffic was moving so slow, but I felt like I didn't take much of a the details of the accident in. How could I not even see if a person was on the stretcher?  I think I remember a human form, but....Maybe because I couldn't truly rationally bring myself to stare into what was possibly the last moments of someones life, whom I didn't know. And before I knew it was happening, I was crying.

I sobbed hard, all the way to Folsom. I dont know exactly what prompted it.Maybe its just hormones? Maybe it was it my selfishness in thinking my life is so rough before this scene snapped me back into reality? Boohoo, I have tough classes that are PAID for and I had a fucking fly in my car. WHO CARES? All of it could be gone in an instant! Maybe it was that realization that life is so short, and I don't think about it that way, hardly ever. I get so stuck in the future and what I am supposed to be doing, and how I don't know what I am doing, and stress that everyone has a path and I don't know mine.

 Maybe I was crying, imagining the  family of the person- imagining a mother with the palest face, collapsed with grief. A husband holding his child tightly, closing his eyes hard to keep his tears from streaming.  Even if this person did live- what an emotional toll on loved ones. I can only recall when Eric didn't meet me for class when he was supposed to, I got that heavy feeling. I went to class, hoping there was just a miscommunication, but didn't find him there, Finally, when I did reach him, he said he had been in an accident, and the car was totaled. I felt my blood rush around and my knees get weak, hairs on end again. He explained he was okay, but I still left school to go see him. I had to inspect him and see for sure my love was in good shape. I don't know what I would do if I lost him. I've been very fortunate not to have lost many folks close to me.

Optimism
I'm home now, in the warmth of our little living room- my cat nestled into his favorite blanket, Eric next to him, sipping coffee and massaging his brain with some stimulating article ( or game review, more likely). But I am honestly taking this evening to absorb the love in my world, and brush off all of the negativity that I create in my own life. I hope to continue to enjoy my relationships and atmosphere, and try not to get too caught up in things that don't really matter.  I hope to find some peace with myself and to learn to love more often; throw out negativity that I can often find myself wallowing in. And lastly, I hope to someday feel comfortable with mortality, but for now, I just cant. It freaks me out.